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Entries from August 2008

Questions NOT to ask at the job interview

August 31st, 2008 · No Comments

What’s your company’s policy on severance pay? How long does it take your company’s bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance? Do you have a random drug testing policy? Does your company’s life insurance cover suicide? How in depth are your criminal background checks? Does your company’s insurance consider genital herpes a […]

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Tags: Stupid Stories

Deep Thoughts

August 31st, 2008 · No Comments

Deep Thoughts If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let’em go, because, man, they’re gone. ========== If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. ========== To me, it’s a good idea to always […]

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Tags: Thoughts

Family Reunion

August 30th, 2008 · No Comments

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I’m sick of her, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her,” and then […]

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Tags: Kids

Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes

August 27th, 2008 · No Comments

Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes You MUST read these out loud… 1) That’s not right …………………………………………… Sum Ting Wong 2) Are you harboring a fugitive?………………………. Hu Yu Hai Ding 3) See me ASAP……………………………………………. Kum Hia Nao 4) Small Horse ………………………………………………. Tai Ni Po Ni 5) Did you go to the beach? …………………………… Wai Yu So […]

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Tags: Misc.

Chicken Philosophy

August 27th, 2008 · No Comments

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??? Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with […]

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Tags: Misc.

Dear Dad…

August 25th, 2008 · No Comments

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear […]

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Tags: Misc.

Three Pints of Guinness

August 25th, 2008 · No Comments

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after […]

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Tags: Misc.

Teenagers are like Cats

August 6th, 2008 · No Comments

How so? Well, consider: Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot. You rarely see a cat walking outside of […]

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Tags: Kids

Made in Japan

August 6th, 2008 · No Comments

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On his last day, he hail a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan.” After […]

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Tags: Uncategorized

You might be from the South if…

August 6th, 2008 · No Comments

You might be from the South if… You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center. You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. You burn your yard […]

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Tags: Uncategorized