This drunk gets more than he bargained for when he buys everyone in the bar a drink A drunk walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender, and says, “I wanna buy everyone in here a shot of whiskey – and include one for yourself, my good man.” The bartender pours shots for everyone, [...]
Entries from May 2008
Generous Drunk
May 31st, 2008 · No Comments
Tags: Stupid Stories
Doctor’s Orders
May 27th, 2008 · No Comments
On doctor’s orders, Marvin had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services. Marvin’s brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. “Would you like to see the body?” the undertaker asked. “I might as well take [...]
Tags: Medical
President Hillary Clinton
May 27th, 2008 · No Comments
Bill and Hillary Clinton, when they first reached the White House, set a new standard of the politically active spouse. It was almost like they were “co-presidents”. So much so that the two of them were known by one name: “Billary”. Now that Hillary is running to get back into the Oval Office, the roles [...]
Tags: Politics
Problem Child
May 27th, 2008 · No Comments
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly”. On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes”, the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. “Who [...]
Tags: Kids
In the News Today
May 21st, 2008 · No Comments
The Roslin lab in Scotland is scheduled for a government budget cut. “But that won’t have much effect,” says Michael X. Ferraro. “Once you’ve cloned sheep, it’s not that difficult to counterfeit money.”
Tags: Stupid Stories
What I Want in a Man
May 15th, 2008 · No Comments
A woman’s list …as she ages…. – – – What I Want in a Man (age 21) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want [...]
Tags: Battle of the Sexes
Health Benefits Of Being Overweight
May 15th, 2008 · No Comments
A new report shows that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising health benefits. Being five to ten pounds overweight could protect people from ailments ranging from tuberculosis to Alzheimer’s disease, research indicates. Those carrying 15 to 25 extra pounds are better able to recover from adverse [...]
Tags: Medical
Redneck Rules of Etiquette
May 15th, 2008 · No Comments
General Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. Even if you’re sure that you are included in the will, it is [...]
Tags: Stupid Stories
Why God Made Moms
May 10th, 2008 · No Comments
Why God Made Moms ( The following answers were given by elementary school children to the following questions ) Question—-“Why did God make mothers?”” The answers: 1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting [...]
Tags: Women
Humpty Dumpty
May 10th, 2008 · No Comments
Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? What did you expect? There were 99 bottles of beer on the wall…
Tags: Stupid Stories