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You’re An EXTREME Redneck When

April 3rd, 2009 · 1 Comment

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey, guys, watch this.”

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Bonus Comment:
An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband “fixed”. The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn’t want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

→ 1 CommentTags: Misc.

Only a Mom would know, But what a great Dad!

April 2nd, 2009 · No Comments

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.  I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.  Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water.  After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know… :)
‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?

→ No CommentsTags: Kids

The South

April 2nd, 2009 · No Comments

THE SOUTH — YOU GOTTA LOVE IT

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. ‘Where’s Henry?’ the others asked.

‘Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of milesback up the trail,’ the successful hunter replied. ‘You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?’ they inquired.

‘A tough call,’ nodded the hunter. ‘But I figured no one is going to steal Henry.’

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, ‘Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head’.

‘Yep’, he replied. ‘That’s why I dumpin it here, cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage’.

Louisiana

A senior at LSU was overheard saying… ‘When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .’ When asked why, he replied, ‘Because everything happens in Louisiana20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.’

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, ‘Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!’

Bubba replied, ‘Did you see who it was?’

The young man answered, ‘I couldn’t tell, but I got his license number.’

Georgia

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, ‘Got any I. D. ?’

The driver replied, ‘Bout whut?’

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, ‘I have a flat tire.’

The passerby asked, ‘But what’s with the flowers?’

The man responded, ‘When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don’t make no sense to me neither.’

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?’

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, ‘Everything but my earrings.

South Carolina

‘You can say what you want about the South, but I ain’t never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North.’

→ No CommentsTags: Uncategorized

Lost

February 3rd, 2009 · No Comments

A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting.

“What’s the quickest way to York?”

The local scratched his head.

“Are you walking or driving?” he asked the stranger.

“I’m driving.”

“That’s the quickest way!”

→ No CommentsTags: Stupid Stories

Good & Evil

December 15th, 2008 · No Comments

One day God was looking down to earth and saw all the evil going on. He decided to send an angel down to earth to check it out. So, he called on a female angel and sent her to earth for a time.

When she returned she told God, yes, it was bad on earth – 95 percent of people were bad and only 5 percent were good.

Well, God thought for a moment and said that maybe he had better send down a male angel and so get both points of view. So God called a male angel and sent him down to earth for a time.

When the male angel returned, he went to God and told him – yes, the earth was in decline. Ninety-five percent were bad and 5 percent were good.

God said that this was not good. He would send a letter to the 5 percent of people that were good to encourage them and give them something to help keep them going. Do you know what the letter said?

Oh, so you didn’t get one either?

→ No CommentsTags: Uncategorized

No Direction Home

December 15th, 2008 · No Comments

A young blonde lady came home from her trip into the big city to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree…

Her mother noticed she was looking a little ill and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”

“Not really,” the blonde replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”

“Poor dear,” Mom said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats?”

“I couldn’t,” she replied, “There was no one there.”

→ No CommentsTags: Holidays · Women

Wanda on the Bailout

November 17th, 2008 · No Comments

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More Useless Facts

November 6th, 2008 · 1 Comment

  1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
  2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
  3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
  4. The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
  5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
  6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
  7. 2/3 of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
  8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
  9. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building
  10. is an American flag.
  11. All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20.
  12. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
  13. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”
  14. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5.00 bill.
  15. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
  16. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
  17. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
  18. There are only 4 words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
  19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
  20. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
  21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
  23. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
  24. The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
  25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
  26. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
  27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
  28. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON’T try this at work!)
  29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
  30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
  31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
  32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. (Presbyterian)
  33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
  34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
  35. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
  36. A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
  37. A polar bear’s skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
  38. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
  39. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
  40. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
  41. Shakespeare invented the words “assassination” and “bump.”
  42. Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot.
  43. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white..
  44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
  45. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
  46. The sentence “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every
  47. letter in the English language.
  48. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
  49. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
  50. The words racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
  51. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
  52. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
  53. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Does that one really surprise any of us?)
  54. Vatican City is the smallest country in the world with a population of 1000
  55. & a size of 108.7 acres.
  56. “I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
  57. No president of the United states was an only child.
  58. And last and definitely most important:
  59. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs in it.

→ 1 CommentTags: Uncategorized

301 Useless Facts

November 6th, 2008 · 9 Comments

1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley’s Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen.

2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen.

3. The “57? on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had.

4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world’s garbage annually. On average, that’s 3 pounds a day per person.

5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels.

6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn’t digest itself.

7. 98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim.

8. A B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945.

9. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

10. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

11. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.

13. Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13. Paraskevidekatriaphobia means fear of Friday the 13th (which occurs one to three times a year). In Italy, 17 is considered an unlucky number. In Japan, 4 is considered an unlucky number.

14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

15. All the chemicals in a human body combined are worth about 6.25 euro (if sold separately).

16. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.

17. The ZIP in “ZIP code” means Zoning Improvement Plan.

18. Coca-Cola contained Coca (whose active ingredient is cocaine) from 1885 to 1903.

19. A “2 by 4? is really 1 1/2 by 3 1/2.

20. It’s estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk.

21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar

22. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

23. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print.

24. The “spot” on the 7-Up logo comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino.

25. 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 dictionary were misspelled.

26. The “save” icon in Microsoft Office programs shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.

27. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins (Elsa Löwenthal and Emma Wedgewood respectively).

28. Camel’s have three eyelids.

29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day.

30. John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln’s son.

31. Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine are brother and sister.

32. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system.

33. Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps.

34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

35. 55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses.

36. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

37. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

38. Dr. Seuss pronounced his name “soyce”.

39. Slugs have four noses.

40. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

41. The Three Wise Monkeys have names: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).

42. India has a Bill of Rights for cows.

43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON’T TRY IT, DUMBASS)

44. During the California gold rush of 1849, miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years, it was deemed more feasible to send their shirts to Hawaii for servicing.

45. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads.

46. About 200,000,000 M&Ms are sold each day in the United States.

47. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

48. Over a course of about eleven years, the sun’s magnetic poles switch places. This cycle is called “Solarmax”.

49. There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess.

50. Upper and lower case letters are named “upper” and “lower” because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters.

51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

52. The numbers “172? can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That’s more than sharks.

54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday.

55. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before it.

56. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

58. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour.

59. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original.

60. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.

62. The largest amount of money you can have without having change for a dollar is $1.19 (3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies cannot be divided into a dollar).

63. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”.

64. IBM’s motto is “Think”. Apple later made their motto “Think different”.

65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original “Halloween” was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget.

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66. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

67. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

68. One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde. Only one in sixteen men is.

69. The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic, and she provided twenty-five years of service.

70. When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it. Only 706 survived.

71. In America, someone is diagnosed with AIDS every 10 minutes. In South Africa, someone dies due to HIV or AIDS every 10 minutes.

72. Every day, 7% of the US eats at McDonald’s.

73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from.

74. In the US, about 127 million adults are overweight or obese; worldwide, 750 million are overweight and 300 million more are obese. In the US, 15% of children in elementary school are overweight; 20% are worldwide.

75. In Disney’s Fantasia, the Sorcerer to whom Mickey played an apprentice was named Yensid (Disney spelled backward).

76. During his entire life, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting, “Red Vineyard at Arles”.

77. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

78. One in ten people live on an island.

79. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.

81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

82. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

83. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said “Elementary, my dear Watson”, Humphrey Bogart NEVER said “Play it again, Sam” in Casablanca, and they NEVER said “Beam me up, Scotty” on Star Trek.

84. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.

85. Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokes model.

86. The sound you here when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head.

87. More people are afraid of open spaces (kenophobia) than of tight spaces (claustrophobia).

88. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

89. There is a 1 in 4 chance that New York will have a white Christmas.

90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

92. Back in the mid to late ’80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn’t considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft’s Flight Simulator.

93. $203,000,000 is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.

94. Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public).

95. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

96. Jim Henson first coined the word “Muppet”. It is a combination of “marionette” and “puppet.”

97. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with (not counting the words “North” and “South).

98. The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib. His name was Bibendum in the company’s first ads in 1896.

99. About 20% of bird species have become extinct in the past 200 years, almost all of them because of human activity.

100. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive.

102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a “palindrome”.

103. A snail can sleep for 3 years.

104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.

105. China has more English speakers than the United States.

106. Finnish folklore says that when Santa comes to Finland to deliver gifts, he leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko instead. According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols, who visits homes on New Year’s Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies and cakes.

107. One in every 9000 people is an albino.

108. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

109. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury.

111. Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on.

112. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds; dogs only have about ten.

113. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.

114. In every episode of “Seinfeld” there is a Superman picture or reference somewhere.

115. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human’s neck.

116. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

118. Each year in America there are about 300,000 deaths that can be attributed to obesity.

119. About 55% of all movies are rated R.

120. About 500 movies are made in the US and 800 in India annually.

121. Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India.

122. Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations (implemented on July 16, 1969) makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles.

123. The February of 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

124. The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

125. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat, though it may feel uncomfortable.

126. The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

127. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

128. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

129. There are about 2 chickens for every human in the world.

130. The word “maverick” came into use after Samuel Maverick, a Texan refused to brand his cattle. Eventually any unbranded calf became known as a Maverick.

131. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

132. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse’s legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

133. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the American flag is flying over the Parliament Building.

134. An American urologist bought Napoleon’s penis for $40,000.

135. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

136. Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters “MT”.

137. $283,200 is the absolute highest amount of money you can win on Jeopardy.

138. Almonds are members of the peach family.

139. Rats and horses can’t vomit.

140. The penguin is the only bird that can’t fly but can swim.

141. There are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.

142. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.

143. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

144. There are only four words in the English language that end in “-dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

145. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

146. Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie.

147. “101 Dalmatians” and “Peter Pan” are the only Disney animations in which both of a character’s parents are present and don’t die during the movie.

148. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

149. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.

150. Ancient Egyptian priests would pluck every hair from their bodies.

151. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

152. Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18. 80% of burglaries are committed by people aged 13-21.

153. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

154. All polar bears are left-handed.

155. The catfish has over 27000 taste buds (more than any other animal)

156. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

157. Butterflies taste with their feet.

158. Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump.

159. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

160. Starfish have no brains.

161. 11% of the world is left-handed.

162. John Hancock and Charles Thomson were the only people to sign the Declaration of independence on July 4th, 1776. The last signature came five years later.

163. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

164. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

165. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

166. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

167. A healthy (non-colorblind) human eye can distinguish between 500 shades of gray.

168. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

169. Lizards can self-amputate their tails for protection. It grows back after a few months.

170. Los Angeles’ full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula”. It can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.

171. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

172. A honeybee can fly at fifteen miles per hour.

173. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

174. A “jiffy” is the scientific name for 1/100th of a second.

175. The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.

176. The youngest pope ever was 11 years old.

177. The first novel ever written on a typewriter is Tom Sawyer.

178. One out of every 43 prisoners escapes from jail. 94% are recaptured.

179. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

180. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs melted into it.

181. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

182. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

183. Elwood Edwards did the voice for the AOL sound files (i.e. “You’ve got Mail!”). He is heard about 27 million times a day. The recordings were done before Quantum changed its name to AOL and the program was known as “Q-Link.”

184. A polar bears skin is black. Its fur is actually clear, but like snow it appears white.

185. Elvis had a twin brother named Garon, who died at birth, which is why Elvis middle name was spelled Aron, in honor of his brother.

186. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

187. Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes.

188. Shakespeare invented the words “assassination” and “bump.”

189. There are a million ants for every person on Earth.

190. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

191. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

192. The name Jeep comes from “GP”, the army abbreviation for General Purpose.

193. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

194. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

195. Cats’ urine glows under a black light.

196. A “quidnunc” is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.

197. The first US Patent was for manufacturing potassium carbonate (used in glass and gunpowder). It was issued to Samuel Hopkins on July 31, 1970.

198. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors, the helicopter, and many other present day items.

199. In the last 4000 years no new animals have been domesticated.

200. 25% of a human’s bones are in its feet.

201. David Sarnoff received the Titanic’s distress signal and saved hundreds of passengers. He later became the head of the first radio network, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC).

202. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

203. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than every Nike factory worker in Malaysia combined.

204. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the ’30s lobbied against hemp farmers (they saw it as competition).

205. “Canada” is an Indian word meaning “Big Village”.

206. Only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.

207. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

208. Rape is reported every six minutes in the U.S.

209. The human heart creates enough pressure in the bloodstream to squirt blood 30 feet.

210. A jellyfish is 95% water.

211. Truck driving is the most dangerous occupation by accidental deaths (799 in 2001).

212. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

213. Elephants only sleep for two hours each day.

214. On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

215. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. (the heart is not a muscle)

216. In golf, a ‘Bo Derek’ is a score of 10.

217. In the U.S, Frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined.

218. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

219. If you plant an apple seed, it is almost guaranteed to grow a tree of a different type of apple.

220. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

221. The only real person to be a PEZ head was Betsy Ross.

222. There are about 450 types of cheese in the world. 240 come from France.

223. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers plays football at home the stadium becomes Nebraska’s third largest city.

224. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

225. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

226. In Iceland, a Big Mac costs $5.50.

227. Broccoli and cauliflower are the only vegetables that are flowers.

228. Newborn babies have about 350 bones. They gradually merge and disappear until there are about 206 by age 5.

229. There is no solid proof of who built the Taj Mahal.

230. In a survey of 200000 ostriches over 80 years, not one tried to bury its head in the sand.

231. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A quarter has 119.

232. On an American one-dollar bill there is a tiny owl in the upper-left-hand corner of the upper-right-hand “1? and a spider hidden in the front upper-right-hand corner.

233. Judy Scheindlin (”Judge Judy”) has a $25,000,000 salary, while Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has a $190,100 salary.

234. The name for Oz in the Wizard of Oz was thought up when the creator Frank Baum looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z.

235. Andorra, a tiny country on the border between France and Spain, has the longest average lifespan: 83.49 years.

236. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

237. Mr. Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister.

238. In America you will see an average of 500 advertisements a day.

239. John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

240. You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

241. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

242. “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

243. There are 336 dimples on a regulation US golf ball. In the UK its 330.

244. The Toltecs (a 7th century tribe) used wooden swords so they wouldn’t kill their enemies.

245. “Duff” is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor.

246. The US has more personal computers than the next 7 countries combined.

247. There have been over 600 lawsuits against Alexander Grahm Bell over rights to the patent of the telephone, the most valuable patent in U.S. history.

248. Kuwait is about 60% male (highest in the world). Latvia is about 54% female (highest in the world).

249. The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.

250. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world’s nuclear weapons combined.

251. At the height of its power in 400 BC, the Greek city of Sparta had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves.

252. Julius Caesar’s autograph is worth about $2,000,000.

253. The tool doctors wrap around a patient’s arm to measure blood pressure is called a sphygmomanometer.

254. People say “bless you” when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.

255. US gold coins used to say “In Gold We Trust”.

256. In “Silence of the Lambs”, Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.

257. A shrimp’s heart is in its head.

258. In the 17th century, the value of pi was known to 35 decimal places. Today, to 1.2411 trillion.

259. The bestselling books of all time are The Bible (6billion+), Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tung (900million+), and The Lord of the Rings (100million+)

260. Pearls melt in vinegar.

261. “Lassie” was played by a group of male dogs; the main one was named Pal.

262. In 1863, Paul Hubert of Bordeaux, France, was sentenced to life in jail for murder. After 21 years, it was discovered that he was convicted of murdering himself.

263. Nepal is the only country that doesn’t have a rectangular flag. Switzerland is the only country with a square flag.

264. Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer are the only angels named in the Bible.

265. Tiger Woods’ real first name is Eldrick. His father gave him the nickname “Tiger” in honor of a South Vietnamese soldier his father had fought alongside with during the Vietnam War.

266. Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol.

267. Abraham Lincoln’s ghost is said to haunt the White House.

268. God is not mentioned once in the book of Esther.

269. The odds of being born male are about 51.2%, according to census.

270. Scotland has more redheads than any other part of the world.

271. There is an average of 61,000 people airborne over the US at any given moment.

272. Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane in case there is a crash.

273. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad. The most common name (of any type) in the world is Mohammed.

274. The surface of the Earth is about 60% water and 10% ice.

275. For every 230 cars that are made, 1 will be stolen.

276. Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. President to be born in a hospital.

277. Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.

278. Around 2,000 left-handed people die annually due to improper use of equipment designed only for right handed people.

279. The “if” and “then” parts of conditional (”if P then Q”) statement are called the protasis (P) and apodosis (Q).

280. Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech.

281. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode.

282. Only female mosquitoes bite.

283. The U.S. Post Office handles 43 percent of the world’s mail.

284. Most household dust is made of dead skin cells.

285. One in about eight million people has progeria, a disease that causes people to grow faster than they age.

286. The male seahorse carries the eggs until they hatch instead of the female.

287. The “countdown” (counting down from 10 for an event such as New-Years Day) was first used in a 1929 German silent film called “Die Frau Im Monde” (The Girl in the Moon).

288. Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression can weaken your immune system.

289. There are seven suicides in the Bible: Abimelech. Samson, Saul, Saul’s armor-bearer, Ahithophel, Zimri, Judas.

290. A mongoose is not a goose but more like a meercat, which is not a cat but more like a prairie dog, which is not a dog but more like a ground squirrel.

291. Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died.

292. Mercury is the only planet whose orbit is coplanar with its equator. Venus and Uranus are the only planets that rotate opposite to the direction of their orbit.

293. John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died on July 4th. Adams and Jefferson died in the same year. Supposedly, Adams last words were “Thomas Jefferson survives.”

294. The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Grover Cleveland’s baby daughter, Ruth, not Babe Ruth the baseball player.

295. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.

296. The Falkland Isles (pop. about 2000) has over 700000 sheep (350 per person).

297. There are 41,806 different spoken languages in the world today.

298. While many treaties have been signed at or near Paris, France (including many after WWI and WWII), nine are actually known as the “Treaty of Paris”: Seven Years’ War (1763), American Revolutionary War (1783), French-Swede War (1810), France vs Sixth Coalition (1814), Battle of Waterloo (1815), Crimean War (1856), Spanish-American War (1898), union of Bessarabia and Romania (1920), establishment of European Coal and Steel Community (1951).

299. Robert Todd Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln’s oldest son) was in Washington DC during his father’s assassination as well as during President Garfield’s assassination, and he was in Buffalo NY when President McKinley was assassinated.

300. The city of Venice stands on about 120 small islands.

301. The past-tense of the English word “dare” is “durst”.

Now that you have gone through the list it is up to you to figure out which facts are true and which facts are false.

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Qantas Maintenance Reports

October 30th, 2008 · No Comments

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet”, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last …

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

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